View all posts by Susan Gallagher RN. The best way to protect your baby is to take all self-isolation precautions and avoid exposing your baby to COVID If you have made an informed decision to feed your baby infant formula : ask someone who is well to feed your baby always wash your hands and wear a face mask while preparing formula and feeding your baby sterilize bottles and equipment, and clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces have a two to four week supply of formula on hand if your baby is under two months of age, use liquid concentrate or ready-to-feed formula homemade infant formula is not recommended as it is nutritionally incomplete For more information on COVID Caring for a baby when you have COVID Visit toronto.
Like this: Like Loading Published by Susan Gallagher RN. You might have a strong flood of emotions to deal with, especially at first. But the reality of the upcoming baby means that you'll have to get beyond your initial feelings for the sake of your daughter and her child.
If you need help coping with your feelings about the situation, talk to someone you trust or seek professional counseling. A neutral third party can be a great resource at a time like this. Just a short time ago your teen's biggest concerns might have been hanging out with her friends and wondering what clothes to wear. Now she's dealing with morning sickness and scheduling prenatal visits.
Her world has been turned upside down. Most unmarried teens don't plan on becoming pregnant, and they're often terrified when it happens. Many, particularly younger teens, keep the news of their pregnancies secret because they fear the anger and disappointment of their parents. Some might even deny to themselves that they are pregnant — which makes it even more important for parents to step in and find medical care for their teen as early in the pregnancy as possible.
Younger teens' pregnancies, in particular, are considered high risk because their bodies haven't finished growing and are not yet fully mature. Teen boys who are going to become fathers also need the involvement of their parents.
Although some boys may welcome the chance to be involved with their children, others feel frightened and guilty and may need to be encouraged to face their responsibilities the father is legally responsible for child support in every state. That doesn't mean, however, that you should pressure your teen son or daughter into an unwanted marriage. Offer advice, but remember that forcing your opinions on your teen or using threats is likely to backfire in the long run. There's no "one size fits all" solution here.
Open communication between you and your teen will help as you consider the future. Even though most teen girls are biologically able to produce healthy babies, whether they do often depends on whether they receive adequate medical care — especially in those critical early months of pregnancy. Teens who receive proper medical care and take care of themselves are more likely to have healthy babies.
Those who don't receive medical care are at greater risk for:. The earlier your teen gets prenatal care, the better her chances for a healthy pregnancy , so bring her to the doctor as soon as possible after finding out she's pregnant.
If you need help finding medical care, check with social service groups in the community or at your child's school. Your teen's health care provider can tell her what to expect during her pregnancy, how to take care of herself and her growing baby, and how to prepare for life as a parent. At her first prenatal visit, your teen will probably be given a full physical exam, including blood and urine tests. She'll be screened for sexually transmitted diseases STDs and for exposure to certain diseases, such as measles, mumps, and rubella.
Knowing what to expect can help alleviate some of the fears your daughter may have about being pregnant. Her health care provider will probably prescribe a daily prenatal vitamin to make sure she gets enough folic acid, iron, and calcium. Folic acid is especially important during the early weeks of pregnancy, when it plays a role in the healthy development of the neural tube the structure that develops into the brain and spinal cord.
Your teen's health care provider will talk about the lifestyle changes she'll have to make for the health of her baby, including:. If your daughter smokes or uses alcohol or other drugs, her health care provider can offer ways to help her quit. Fast food, soft drinks, sweets — teen diets are notoriously unbalanced. Eating well greatly increases your teen's chances of having a healthy baby, so encourage her to maintain a well-balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain breads use the U.
It is true what they say that it goes so fast. Enjoy every moment! As a mother of 8 one at a time, all biological children, I think the best time to have children is as soon as you are married and are being financially responsible.
My children were born when I was 24, 26, 28, 29, 30, 32, 34, and Pregnancy and parenting is definitely easier when you are younger. Patience is gained not just from getting older, but from time spent with your children. Once my first child was born, my husband and I always lived well below our means and worked to become debt-free. I did tutor on the side and it all went toward paying down our school loans and mortgage. In , after my last child was born, I launched a business.
Our children now aged all work in the business and get salaries and pay taxes and invest in IRAs. It has been our full source of income since The children have learned so much by watching us struggle to become debt free, grow the business, invest for the future, and live well below our means.
My husband and I are on track to fully retire from our business and let the children take over when my youngest child turns 18 we will be 53 and We could retire earlier, but we told the children we would wait that long. While become FI and even RE before having children may give you more time with your children, having your children join you in you FIRE journey is a wonderful addition to helping them internalize the sound principles that are involved in the journey so they can live them out.
This gives them a huge jump start in life. Nothing is certain in this life. How was the cost of raising so many kids? What about health worries for your kids? ARe they all fine? Also, did your body just get used to giving birth? I cannot imagine worrying about 8. As for cost of raising them — we started out living in New Jersey with a very high cost of living. When I was pregnant with number 6 we moved to Indiana for the lower cost of living. We lived very cheaply — cooked all our own meals, raised dairy goats for milk which turned into our business , chickens for eggs, rabbits for meat, and had a huge garden.
Plus, when you have a large family, everybody knows where to drop off their hand-me downs or anything they no longer needed. I rarely had to buy anything and if I needed something I put the word out and it usually showed up within a few weeks. My children are all very healthy thanks, farm living and playing in the dirt! I think as a parent, we always worry at some level. But honestly? As far as continuing to get pregnant and having more children, quite honestly, child number 3 is the hardest.
Especially if you teach your children to work hard and be responsible. By the time number child 8 was here, I knew I was done. Plus, I always said I wanted an even number of children so nobody ever felt left out. There are lots of reasons not to have children, but in my opinion, money should never be one of those reasons.
You will always find a way to pay for what is important. The reports of what it costs to raise a child are absolutely ridiculous. Sure you can spend that much, but for those of use who would never buy a brand new vehicle or live in a mcmansion, there are plenty of ways to raise happy, healthy, educated, hardworking children for a lot less if you just put some effort into it.
This is a very relevant post. Any suggestions? This is exactly what I have observed in my personal and professional circle. Our situation was similar. Both of us did our PhDs, then worked in a different city for 1. We were luckily endowed with twins the first time. If I were to reverse the clock though, I can only wish we had them sooner.
We are slowly and steadily working towards financial independence. Kids require money, but the single biggest cost is child-care early in life and collage late in life. You can start raising kids earlier and get done earlier. Keep building your nest egg, pace yourself. Financial independence will come later rather than sooner in life, but independence or freedom is a fake word when kids are involved anyway.
My Dad had me when he was He was glad he waited, on one hand, because they were obviously financially stable by then. Personally, I had a friend who had her first son at age 15 yes! Their kids are awesome, they have tons of energy and time to spend with them.
Luckily for guys we have time on our side. Its a lot easier for a 40 year old guy to have a kid than a 40 year old woman. The financial stability was not there when they were first born but it was by the time our oldest was 7 or 8. We love the fact that we can afford to travel with our kids to places like Europe and Austrailia and have no problems paying for their private college tuition which starting soon will run six figures per year for at least a couple years.
Personally, I wish I could take care of my kids earlier so I could have time for my own parents. Right now, its a tussle because kids are in critical stage of their education, and so are parents with their health.
If I had kids earlier, I and my parents could have enjoyed their growth much better, and my kids would have been independent adults by the time my parents needed me. How about go Hawaiian style, with three generations looking out for each other under one roof or on a compound? My dad did get to enjoy his grandkids. He made it just about every one of my 2 nephews sporting events all the way through high school.
You are lucky. To each personal situation, it can be different. For e. I have seen cases where the youngest in family is 10 years younger than the oldest kid. Imagine, you were 41 but your oldest sibling could be 51 with kids in college. Completely different situations. Sam asked for the ideal age, but its really dependent on too many factors.
I have also seen folks not having kids because they are perfectionists! Anyways, I dont want to judge, because everyone is unique and so are their circumstances. IMHO, the best age to get married is 25, and the best age to have a baby is 27, assuming both are college graduates. The reason why older wisdom pushes their next to have one.
I resisted marriage. I think its because it was going to be arranged, and a logical mind fights it. Its more of a decision of brain, than of heart. I wanted at least 5 kids. I was worn and torn, after our first. We decided on the second child ONLY because to give company to our first, after we are gone. If you notice the pattern around the world, folks are following their bucket list in their 20s, have live-in relationships, most of my friends stop at 1 kid, and the next generation has started questioning if marriage is even needed.
As for you Sam, you were financially ready after you got your job at Goldman, at least as per conventional wisdom of many previous generations! Anyways, its all in the mind. When the doctors asked us to take our daughter back home within 36 hours of her birth — we were like — are you serious?
How are we going to take care of this baby if not in hospital? Or am I not? What will happen when A happens? What if B happens? I like the concept of a safety net. Frees up 20k a year…. So — You probably wont get any credits due to income, so leave the 21k fed.
This is WAG math but the point is the tax rate is a lot lower. That said, love the concept of the article. Personally, the wife and I had kids in mid 20s. Need to be relatively young to crack heads, if necessary, when daughter starts dating :. I was 28, 30, and 32 with my three.
I have heard of people doing side gigs with newborns to put K in a right off the bat to grow itself to almost a full college cost. I wish we would have been thinking about a right at birth as their ages have snuck up! I think you are in a great place, Sam! Not many parents have the stability and time that you two do. Congratulations on your new addition. When my significant other shared the news I was overcome with joy, then immediately struck by a moment of realization.
I recognized that though we were already well organized and situated, there was still so much to do from a financial side. I had to start writing a financial to-do list of things like: setting up a will to establish custody in the event of both our passing-it happens ; increasing life insurance; updating medical insurance; researching plans; and revisiting our budget to include new baby related recurring expenses for after their arrival.
Over the last few years, we realized that it is always easier to delay having children. However, we both wanted to enjoy spending time with our child without being restrained by our own physical limitations. For us, this is the perfect time from a financial and biological perspective, and we are getting quite excited to embrace the joy and chaos of our new addition.
We are having issues conceiving. I really want a child and have wanted a child or two of my own for as long as I can remember. My husband however, wanted to wait, wait, wait, and wait some more. You can plan, save, be FI and be finally ready for that baby. And never get that child. She is now 12 and I am Of course it was not the ideal time to start a family with my then 20 year old girlfriend but things have a funny way of working out when you keep faith and and put your whole heart into something.
My daughter brought so much value to my life at age I was able to write a check after earning my bachelors and paid off the 25k in student loans I had at the time. We also had a lot of help. Since we were so young, so were our parents and they were up to the challenge of helping out so that we were able to get and education.
My girlfriend and I both learned so much about ourselves and we grew together and became very motivated as a team. My then girlfriend is now my wife of 5 years and we have a 4 and 2 year old at home as well.
There are many pros and cons to our situation which have been discussed already. We had our first when I was 27 and second when I was The reasoning behind it is that both my husband and I wanted to be finished raising our kids before we are We understand that they will be in college, but for the most part, we will be done.
We are hoping to enjoy the last few years of working and then retire around 55 if possible. Consistent savings is the key and even with kids we knew we would never stop saving. I had my kids at age 24 and Another thing to consider is that if you have children younger, you are more likely to spend less on raising them.
Not necessarily a bad thing! I think one commenter talked about the problems with passing on defective genes. As we get older, our gene replication process becomes more and more statistically likely to produce errors, and more likely to propagate errors. Older moms are likelier to have spontaneous abortions and hard time conceiving, in addition, they are also likelier to give birth to a baby with Down Syndrome.
This is because women have finite number of eggs that are all created at once while women are still in utero, whereas men produce sperm throughout their lives. Every time a sperm stem cell begins the process of spawning new sperm, it has to divide, creating opportunity for mutations to form. The sperm produced by older sperm stem cells will have greater load of mutations.
In short, every couple and individual will have to evaluate their own wants and needs, and their risk tolerance when it comes to planning a family.
My mother raised five children alone not by choice on government academia income, her children today are successful engineers, accountant and physician with no debt. Growing up frugally taught me the value of money and how to save more aggressively than my American peers. I think it would be ideal for women to have children between We all had this magical ability to stay up all night and work all day in our 20s, and most of my friends and I wasted it on going out.
I think in my 20s I had the energy to raise 3 kids and run 2 companies — Basically half Elon-Musk. What do you think is the ideal range for men to be fathers? Reading comments like yours that are extremely pessimistic and focused on all that can go wrong with the developing fetus makes me sad.
Our work is physical and he already has three kids from a previous marriage. They are older teens. Our work is physical and I read Sams blog in hopes to learn a few tricks so I can figure out a way to retire one day. Sam a good friend of mine just had a new baby at 43 and we have been discussing his feelings of being an older parent. I have been compiling a long list of people who have become parents later on male and female, some gave birth and some adopted……George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Sharon Stone, Adam Jones guitarist of Tool , Maynard James Keenan lead singer of Tool , Alec Baldwin, Jimmy Fallon, the list is long, but inspiring.
We had a baby when we were Most educated couple wait a bit to have kids. There are plenty of great places in the country to live with decent salaries that are so much cheaper. I was just in Moraga, East Bay this weekend. I am grateful to parents and grandparents for many generations that had my ancestors when they had no money! Babies are blessings and God provides! We had already been married for 7 years and had built a great life.
We had done a ton of travelling and enjoying selfish DINK life. Finally got pregnant, woohoo! From day one we had lots of time for our kids, neither of us having to race off to work in the morning as we were both in sales related careers and top performers with our firms so zero micromanagement from our bosses. We had zero family nearby for help or babysitting so it was good to have lots of flexibility. Wife took long maternity leaves, both over a year. Money is never an issue which eliminates any stress around paying for trips, sports, camps, activities.
Only downside to waiting longer is we will be getting long in the tooth by the time we ever become grandparents. I also plan on retiring in less than 5 years with a 12 and 14 year old at home.
Looking forward to it. Might pull them out of school for a semester and take an extended trip somewhere. Good to have options. Will be spending winters in Florida by the time my kids are late teens headed off to college. My wife told me that she wanted a puppy or a baby about 3 years ago.
We picked up Col. Stars and Stripes from the shelter 2 weeks later. We started trying for a baby when I was 35 and my wife was BOOM, twin boys, done and done. We toyed with having a third, but twins are pretty intense and as you said, much more difficult than expected.
A third kid would require major lifestyle changes, bigger car, etc. But mostly, we just feel that to have another baby, we should be certain that we want another baby, and we were honest with our reservations.
Twin boys it is. I have a buddy who just turned He and his wife had one boy, and wanted a 2nd. Just unreal. His life just took a big turn.
Just my opinion of course. My wife and I were in our mid thirties when we had our first kid and 17 months later we can say that for us being around your early to mid 30s is the best time to have kids. That along with being in a stable financial situation really helps.
Being a SF resident as well we had to save more and be a smart spender go get a pretty good net worth. It was a long road for us financially and now we are ready to buy a home and hope to find one the in Bay Area so we can build memories with our baby. I got married at 35 and we had our one and only daughter a month short of my 41st birthday. My wife was This next week we send her to the East Coast for her Freshman year in college and in October I turn Where in the world did that time go?
Since we want 3 kids and also to be involved grandparents who are healthy enough to shoot hoops or go on a hike with our grankids, we plan to space kids out at age 27, 30, and 33 assuming our bodies allow us to.
You might be when your kids have kids. Then With luck you see them get to years old. Great post. Love how analytical you are on these kinds of decisions! We are parents are 4 kids that we had from ages 27 — 35 26 — 34 for my wife. We had only 5-figure net worth when we had our first child long graduate school programs, unfortunately , and definitely feel like young parents relative to a high-education peer group. Having kids in late 20s has been such a blessing for us, despite the weaker financial ability at the time which did cause stress from time to time, but we made it just fine!
All things considered, I think Sam is right on target with the trade-off considerations, but I lean slightly younger for the final answer. I would say being the optimal age range for females and being the optimal age range for males. And for some couples it takes multiple rounds of IVF, or have multiple miscarriages, etc. Paid or unpaid? If she stops working, can you survive on one income?
If she goes back to work, will your budget cover day care, which can be expensive? Planning is key, as is having a decent cushion of savings… So start preparing long before you actually want to have a kid! Well of course. Is having your first child at 32 years old and being happy different from the ideal age of having your first child at 32 years old as indicated in my post?
Talk about over thinking it. If you are reasonably responsible have kids after marriage and at least one job. Have them sooner rather then later, because the job can be exhausting. If you remind them and yourselves that they could be poor and alive or rich and unborn what do you think they will choose? What do you think are the downsides of planning given the cost and time required to raise the child? When did you start your family and how was your financial situation at the time?
We have another on the way in a week or so. I think the age could be somewhat different for everyone, it all depends on where you are; you need to be mentally and financially stable enough , and ready for it. I think the best time to start having kids is at about age 28 and on. This allows enough time to enjoy adulthood and start earning money at work. I love how gangsta the kid in the feature image looks. You kind of hit a sweet spot of money and fertility.
This allows for younger, less experienced parents to have kids, with more people around to provide guidance and assistance. Supporting two different generations at this point would be tough. I think the ideal age is 32, therefore eight years late. So only in the end will we know what the right time was.
I became a first time father at Every time I bend down to put my son in the crib I am hear my joints cracking…. And you are so right about being in a better place financially before deciding to have children. We raised two engineers and a business major that way, basically for zero college cost to us and zero loans. All well employed and completely self sufficient. Investments you make in raising disciplined kids pay off when they go to college.
That being said, everyone has different life paths so what works for one might not work for another. Age 33 for me. This would have allowed for the two desired kids before age
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